I just ran across this quote: "We choose our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our ability to amuse them."

This started me thinking...

Ever tell a joke and nobody laughs? Ever say something you thought was profound, insightful, and above all witty ...and it only comes out as perverse?

We often hear the expression "he/she really gets me". To have someone be on the same wavelength, the same page...

I really miss my friends. It took me a lifetime to amass that group of kindred spirits and now they're gone, all gone ...in one fell swoop.

I miss Bernie. Now he really got me.

Have you ever had one of those situations where, after the fact, you stewed over what you should have said or done?

Well, sure you have. Me too. Lot's of them.

But recently, I surprised myself. I almost didn't recognize this cool, calm, level-headed person who'd taken over my being.

Without recounting the particulars, let's just say, I encountered a situation where a confrontation was required and would've been my normal reaction. You see, I love a confrontation. If I feel that you're wrong or I disagree with your point, I don't hesitate to say so. If I find that you're wrong, and you're being deliberate, arrogant, and self-important about it, I not only will call you on it, I take great pleasure in "cutting you down. I know, not a very nice quality. But I've been working on it. And the positive results of effort do on occasion shine through.

I did not confront. I was very agreeable. I proposed an alternate viewpoint while conceding that I was not only uncertain of my facts, but wasn't that committed to that particular viewpoint. I "confessed" that the argument [he] was making had in fact shed new light on the matter.

That was sheer bullshit. He was wrong, I knew it, he knew it, and from the reaction of the group, everyone else knew it (or suspected).

Surprisingly enough, he abandoned his argument in light of the new information he'd just been presented.

You see, if you give someone an out, allowing them to "save face" there's no need for them to consider your argument a confrontation and they don't resort to being defensive.

People skills. Ain't it kinda late in the game for me to finally acquire people skills. Well, better late than never.

Guess what? I got a response to my last post.

The commenter, who was not the guy I had in mind when I wrote the post, was also someone whose posts receive a lot of comments ...to which he does not reply.

He was ingenious enough to reply to me via email on my profile. I never thought of that. So I guess I don't need to enable my comments.

Anyway, his reason for not replying to comments is ...excerpted from his email:

"I don't write my post to initiate a discussion. I consider the comments as an extension of the post, showing the various responses to it, but after I write a post, I'm finished with it. I do read the comments."

So, I guess there could be myriad reasons for not replying to a comment, and if I should do so, I won't worry about it being perceived in a bad light.

I was just wondering about the "netiquette" regarding responding to comments.

I noticed that on some blogs, there can be a number of comments but not one response from the blog owner ...whether a comment required a response or not.

Then, there are blogs like mine, that will have, say, 10 comments, but 5 of them are my responses to the comments. Sometimes there's even an ongoing dialog: comment >> my response >> commenter's response, etc.

So if a comment ask a question or in some other way seems to require a response, is it "okay" to not respond? I'm sure this is not the case, but the absence of a response seems as if the comment was not even read ...(or is read and warrants a negative response so [the blogger] opts to just say nothing.)

There are comments that I sometimes don't respond to (statements that don't need a response). What if you received large numbers of comments? Responding to them all, individually or collectively, would be very time-consuming. So, I ask myself, "What is the proper netiqette".

...of course this is a rhetorical question, since this blog doesn't allow comments.

Which brings up another "small" point. Is it cool to ask a question, about which a reader may have a definite opinion, and not allow him to voice that opinion. Maybe I should enable my comments for just this sort of situation?

consideration...

contemplation...

consternation...

stultification...

procrastination...

non-completion...

I'm having a bad-hair day. Oh wait! I don't have any hair.
I guess it's just a bad day.

But it's way to early to throw in the towel. I can salvage it yet.

Again, the nudge inside my head reminds me:

Think instead of react.
Sometimes saying nothing is better.
Your single point of view does not account for circumstances outside the realm of your experience.

I've been busy posting comments around blogdom on various site ...popping in, reading the post, and writing a comment as a reaction as opposed to making a well thought-out statement.

Not that I don't think my opinions have validity, only that I'm much to quick in offering them ...as the absolute truth. So let it be written, so let it be done. I'd make a terrible monarch. I'd always be just and fair, but perhaps a bit too myopic.

Virgo logic doesn't always apply.

I been spending a lot of time between reading postings and posting comments on all the new blogs I've discovered.
They all seem different and the range of topics, ideas, and attitudes is diverse, all very interesting.
This gives me some [more] exercise in seeing through other eyes ...a much need influx of alternate perspectives. Mine was getting kinda myopic and stale.

I'm also excited about getting some new ideas in soapmaking.
Having recently added the "cream soap group" to my list, the postings look promising.
Again, I think I can benefit from new ideas and perspectives.

The downside is that I'm spending still more time at the computer which takes time away from other real-life stuff.
In addition to domestic and social obligations, it's time to order some new supplies and get back into "production".